Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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how do you kill chuck norris. you don't

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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-Ask me if I'm a tree. +Are you a tree? -Yes. -Ask me if I'm an orange. +Are you an orange? -No, I'm a tree, were you listening me?

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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Wanker

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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david weres the slug gone

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One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

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Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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holy F**k someone call an ambulance!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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