Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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I'm Jewish

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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Ain't idn't a word.

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why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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How do you tell the difference between a pig and a sea pig? If you open your mouth and it fills with water, you are an idiot

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a rock? The rock doesn't cheat on it's wife.

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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which one is easiest

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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