What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

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A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

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What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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