whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Boyfriend: Why are you so negative all the time? Girlfriend: I'm not! I'm positive! Boyfriend: No your not your arguing with me right now and you... Narrator: The girl takes the pregnancy test and shoves it in the guys mouth kicks him in the nuts and runs out the door.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

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It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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josh Roberts you speccy CUNT

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pudding

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How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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