If i have a remote that can switch people to mute, the number 1 people will be asian, and it will be on the train.

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Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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What's worse than finding out you have cancer? Not much, that would not be so great.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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A man walks into a bar

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Why did the mother get upset with her son? Because he sexually experimented with his cousin.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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Why are tests such a pain in the ass? Because your vomiting shit you'd learned the night before.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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how many babies dose it take to paint a fence it depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

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What's worse than losing your wallet? Having a miscarriage.

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A duck walks passed a lemonade stand.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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Why did the black man not get to go to the party that was filled with all white people? His mother had recently died and so he had proceeded to go to his mother's funeral instead of heading to his white bestfriend's party.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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