whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American all stand in one room. The Italian throws pasta out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The Mexican throws a taco out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country." The American throws a burger out the window and says "We have too much of this in our country."

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Do you want to hear a good anti-joke? Well I don't have one.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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