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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

Why did the burrito taste bad? It's a giraffe.

A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

Women's Rights

What's better than fornicating two 4 year old twins? Killing their parents in front of them before you do.

What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

Roses are red Violets are too I am color blind How about you

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

Q: What is the differenc between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babys? A: I dont have a lamborghini my garage.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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