What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

Tic tac toe. I never met my father

So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

what is the difference between my pubes and my actualy hair on my head.... my pubes didnt fall off when i went trough chemo

Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

There are no stupid Questions just stupid people

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

my hand is a DOLPHIN!

why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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