Why did the boy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at him.

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i was gunna write a joke..but i took an arrow to me knee.

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Why was the boy named Bethel? He had horrible parents that wanted him to live a life of social poverty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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Women's rights.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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Justin Beiber's Talent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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