what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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What do you call Mary in a wheelchair ... virgin mobile

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Tyler: Why'd the monkey fall out of a tree? Donnie: who's there Tyler: dude this isn't a knock knock joke...

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I just pooped in my boyfriends mouth. He ate it. Ps. I am a boy

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Why did everyone at school think that Susan was so hot? They set her on fire.

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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roses are red and violets are in fact violet

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what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

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Penis, eggs, mushrooms and tigers

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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