Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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What's hanging by a rope from the tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

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What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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Knock Knock I'm sorry but the new don't ask don't tell laws require me to not answer but do feel free to come in for some tea.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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