What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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boys go to college to get more knowledge. Girls go to Jupiter to work in the kitchen.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

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Its easy they said, just type your text below they said, so I did

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69 :)

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

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so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She was dead

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? That's the joke.

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butt sex

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Lindsay Lohan

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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