A racist man walks into an all black church. He has no problem with the people there as he is a black man who hates caucasion people.

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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What's read, round and gets smaller? A baby combing its hair with a potato pearler

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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How long would it take for a clock to reach 12 It depends on which 12 it is going to land on and which time zone you are in but yet most clocks are not correct so it is very hard to tell

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Knock Knock, Who's Theres? Your dead squashed nan

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

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What did the Jew say right before a boy threw a quarter in a fountain? Make a wish.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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