What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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How tall is oprah.. 5'7

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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A black man has a job.

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Cows are land manatees.

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drugs.

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What was Billy for Halloween? A pirate

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What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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Annld so the penguin said, "This is my most casual outfit!"

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How many Frenchmen does it take to surrender? Probably just one.

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

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I like it, I like it becuase it is cream

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A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops