wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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What happens when you put a baby, a dog and a cat in the same bag They will all most likely suffocate if left in the bag too long

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Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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An old jewish man, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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