Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why was the black man in prison? He was wrongly accused of a felony and the jury by whom he was tried was largely racist.

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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What do you call a gay scientologist? His first name or last name, depending on how close you 2 are.

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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Why did the gang jump a man for his blue jeep? Answer The gang wanted a blue jeep.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? " Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar... One was a salted.

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I have a gay camel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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