When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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My girlfriend said she doesn't like anti jokes and now i'm single ha ha just kidding.... she's dead

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why was the boy sad? because his mom just punched his hamburger

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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Punching a baby

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What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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