Why does beonce say to the left, to the left. she doesnt she sings it.

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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there is 500 dicks on the wall how many will choke on? None?? so ur a professional!!!! lol

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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You know whats funny? Matty Broom.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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While teaching her second grade class, Mrs. Peets asks the class a question from last night's homework, "OK class, what did you get for number five, 5+12=?" A kid in the back raises his hand slowly. "Yes James?", said the teacher. The kid in the back says, "My dick is as hard as a rock, Mrs. Peets."

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman

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everybody loves raymond

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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What did Batman say to Robin after they got on the bus? We should have taken the batmobile.

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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