Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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Wats rong with yo leg.....

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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What was the old man doing in the parking lot. Looking for a place to park his car

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did Rosie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus...

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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A dog was barking at a tree

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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