Girl look at that body, girl look at that body, I got passion in my pants... Actually I lied, I got a penis and testicles in my pants, but I'm afraid to show it because people might think it's small, sorry

How do you make an electrician cry? You cut off his friend's penis.

A baby seal walks into a club.

knock knock. who's there? Alticka Alticka who? Alticka pudding cup.

A man walked into his house to find that his wife was cheating on him with another man. He was furious, and killed himself

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

Rick santorum

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

How do you make a frog stand still? Shoot it.

A guy jumps off a cliff and does a reasonable thing, scream to his death.

What do you call a bus full of white people? A Twinky!!!

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

Why did the man eat the cheese? because the man was a mouse

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

What's funnier than 24? My life.

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

Q: What's red, pink and spins round and round? A: A baby in a blender Q2: What's red, pink, green, and smells bad? A2: The same baby 2 weeks later

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...