Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

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Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Why did the kid fail? He procrastinated.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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learn the ropes?

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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