Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

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I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

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When Geese fly in their 'V' formation, why is one line bigger than the other? There's more geese in that line.

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why did it take the black man 1.5 hours to get out of a movie theater? he wanted to patiently wait for the movie to end.

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Miškinis gerai prikolina.

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Justin Becnel falls off a tree, what happens? He breaks his neck and unfortunately dies.

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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what is big, black, and has hair on it. a big black guy with hair.

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penis haha

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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Two guys are on a bridge. One commits suicide, the other one is called John.

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Did you hear the joke about Hellen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops