- Anti Joke

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

The Earth is a nice place to live.

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the dog die? He was old

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

The Earth is a nice place to live.

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

Why did the dog die? He was old

Who's lower than Iran? United Arab Emirates.

knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

Roses are red, violets are red, everything's red... Retinal haemorrhage.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

The Earth is a nice place to live.

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??

A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends Plot Twist It was a dream He has no friends.