What's big,long,and mostly men use it? A submarine

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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A:knock, knock B:who's there A:come in B:come in who A:me I'm gay

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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If Johnny can hold 7 bottles of Vodka in one hand and 6 cans of beer in the other, what does Johnny have? A drinking problem.

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What do you get when you hit a deer? A dead deer, which you should probably take home to eat - wouldn't want it to go to waste.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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What is the pirate's favorite letter? Z.

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares what a Chicken does?

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A gay man walks out of his bedroom, rubbing his ass in pain. He says, "I hate it when I slip and fall in the shower."

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Cows are land manatees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops