How many Jew can you fit in a car? As many as the car seats comfortably.

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Justin Bieber

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

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Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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Why did Kelliintheraw get punched in the face? Because she is a dumbass

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guess wat chicken butt guess why chicken thy guess who chicken poo guess how he chickened out

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops