- Anti Joke

why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

Youre mom is so dead...

Who did you see last night? Nobody, no one wants to see you.

Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

Slam! Slam! Slam! I'm a woodpecker. Slam! Slam! Slam! Except with dirt.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there Not Sarah

a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

I was bitter, nonetheleast because you and I became friends, while someone working for you (at that time it might just as well had been you) was conducting a lot of illegal activities. I kept thinking, why does the guy call himself "the wizard", its the most used name... Why? Because it is the most used name, good luck finding "THE WIZARD" among internet nerds, but then again, if you search for the most famous one, you find "THE MAN", Not only did you tell me at first that you where Nero. Which I can prove you are not, but you know, one side of me was your friend, the other knew I would have to get rid of you no matter the cost, if you kept your activities. SImply put: When I enjoyed our time together, I pushed you away with stupid humor, small insults and etc, mostly in order to protect myself from getting to close with a potential threat for well, security, lets keep it at that.

Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

A man with his masters degree, has a great job, and gets good money. Has a wife and kids. He is very successful.

What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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