A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby" "One's fun to hit with a bat and the other One's a watermelon.

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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