Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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What is it called when you kill a gay man? Homocide

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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