Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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Hey, Max!!

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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whats white jizz

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Why did Amy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Amy

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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How did the blond become a pilot? By attending flight school, graduating, applying to an airline to which she subsequently was hired to, taking frequent training courses, and beginning work.

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What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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You Mom is so ugly, It makes sense why you always have that look on your face!

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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