I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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A man walks into a bar, gets caught in a knife fight, and dies horribly. The funeral was closed casket.

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Cinema greatest shit final, anime and videogames dont translate well into movies edition: One day... a young man named Tyler Reed, is chased by the notorious bully named Peter Ganondorf... Just then... he coincidentally utters "I AM THE LINK!" And a great lightning bolt strikes him... Tyler Becomes THE LINK! As for Peter Ganondorf... he became a pile of burning ashes... But Just then THE LINK, gets contacted by Jessica Fairy! And receives a important message... The evil Dr.Bullshitious has destroyed the connection without earth and planet Zelda! And that is bad... BECAUSE! Can Tyler Reed use his powers of lightning fast flight, and collect the TWO pieces of the mystic "triforce" to earn the ultimate weapon? The Master gun! Most importantly, can he become THE LINK between Planet Zelda and Earth? *Shows random shots that you cant make shit of like those movies you know suck just from the narration* ZELDA: THE LINK TO PLANET EVOLUTION! Moral: Still better than Dragon Ball Evolution...

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its's not rape if you yell "suprise!"

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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Yo mama so fat, that she feels uncomfortable in a bathing suit.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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Homonyms should be band.

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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There is a dead guy on the road lying in a puddle of blood with a gunshot wound on his head. What happened? He died

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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Did you hear about the german girl who had sex and died................. it was 50 years later after she had a family of about five kids and lived a happy life as a nurse

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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What do you call a black garbage man? A garbage man

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what do you call an astrounaut in space? an astrounaut you racist bastard

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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