What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

What's worse than a mentally retarded boy screaming in your ear while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors? 2 retarded boys screaming in your ears while your sitting in the waiting room at the doctors.

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

Obama getting elected in 2012.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

The Pittsburgh Pirates

Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

What did the boy with a crippled arm get for his birthday? A guitar.

Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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