what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

What happened when the high school student had intercourse with his history teacher? orgasmic noises.

A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

Waffles ate my grandma

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff. What's not pink and fluffy? Rape.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

An Asian man fails a math test

What did the child molestor do? He went home and molested children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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