A: What Santa said when he caught Mrs. Claus with one of his elves... Q: What is "Ho ho ho?"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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Whats worse than the holocaust A.MRS FRANK B.HITLER ANSWER MRS FRANK

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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