- Anti Joke

Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

What did the framer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

Why are reading anti-jokes so funny? Im not sure, i just read them and laughter ensues.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

Brother comes downstairs wet and naked Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

knock knock who's there me me who? me me me me who? me me me me me me who? and the more the joke continues the less funny and more annoying it gets

Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

roses are black violets are black im blind

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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