How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Q. What is worse than being British???? A. Not being British

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What did the rainbow sun say to the flower-faced elephant? "Want some tea and hamsters?" I'm addicted to acid.

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A black walks into a bar Because it is still around the time of segregation, they don't serve colored people

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So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

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Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

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What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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hi, im sober.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

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Sarah Palin

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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