whats black and white with red all over. something that's black and white with red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why don't I understand myself? Because I am an anti-joke and lack a self-aware existence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the young Chinese boy crying? Because he is being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An Asian man fails a math test

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops