Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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I'm sn otter

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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"Guess what I was doing in my room last night with the door closed with my hand?" "Please don't say what I think you're going to say" "What? I was just cleaning my room."

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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Q: What is Kony's favorite rapper A: SOULJA BOY!!

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And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

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I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

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Why did Dave stop going to the laundromat? Because he was a suicide bomber.

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Dude, i know this guy, who knew this guy named Ben, who knew this guy named Valen, who knew this guy named Chad and he said.... Ben's Dead.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

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why did the guy make a deer and and bear mix because he wanted some beer

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Women's rights

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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