What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

penus

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

when i go to a nude beach people think im looking for lost jewelery and treasure

Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

What did the Catholic Priest say to the Altar Boy shortly after sex? Nothing. The feelings of shame and revulsion the priest felt about what he had just done meant he couldn't look him in the eye let alone talk to him.

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

what did the homeless man get for christmas.......................nothing

A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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