What do cows in Africa say? Moo

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

A man walks into a bar. Ouch

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

to get to the other side.

What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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