What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Roses are Red Violets are blue You little stupid ass bitch I ain't fucking with you

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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Im cute hehehee

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What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

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Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

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What's worse than dying in the holocaust Dying on the last day of the holocaust

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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My Nan, that is all.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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i lyk 2 eet pup

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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