How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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how did I get in your moms pants. I ripped them off.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why Didn't LeBron James go to College? He was really good and decided to go to the NBA straight out of High School.

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whats worse than 8 babies nailed to a tree? nothing but oca mom is going to be pissed that her kids are nailed to a tree

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself pink and throw green banana at her.

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Whats blue and white and red all over? The American flag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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