You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

Your face

how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

Grace Ackerson

Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's Roses are Red

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

Knock Knock, Who's there? Jim Jim who? Oops, wrong house.

Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

What did Madeline McCann get for Christmas? Nothing she's dead.

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it~? lots of things.

How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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