An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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why did the boy have to go to the dentist he was hit by a brick

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01010010001010010100100101001001010010100100100100100100100100100100100100010010101010101010101011010101010110010101010 Dolphin

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What did the speech impaired man say ? Nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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What do you call a black man with an afro? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in the zoo don't be mad ill be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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