I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? BECAUSE HE WAS DEAD.

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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These two guys walk into a bar. You'd think the second guy would've noticed it was there.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Do you want to hear a joke, Women's rights

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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split your ass cheek

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick!

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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A guy walks into a restaurant.... He ordered his meal , got desert and left a nice tip based off a percentage of his final bill.

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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Dan was friends with Dick. Dick likes to give massages to Dan. Dan's favorite is Dickie's special mixture. He will remember Dick, his favorite personal assisatant for life. CREEPER

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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