A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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You think I'm pretty without any makeup boy..... Let's bang.

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If 2 trains are going 60 mph, their going in opposite directions towards each other, they are slowing down 1 mile per hour per 10 miles and they are 100 miles away, would you rather have Coke or Pepsi?

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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woman..parallel parking

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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