Ask me if im a tree? No

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

What's the worst thing about African poverty? The fact that there is no foreseeable solution to the problem of millions suffering.

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Whats small and has Aids? Avery..

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

Jinoo walks into a club it's not a club anymore it's a slaying factory

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get KFC... Because hes a canibal!

What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

Your Mom!!!

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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