Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting shot in the knee several times and bleeding to a slow and painful death.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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What do you call a Muslim pilot? An accident waiting to happen

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Koalas mum is a slut

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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what did hulk say when he was mad? im mad

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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Q:How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? A:Depends on the volume of said tub.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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Know knock Who's there The fat lady off her medicine ball Call 000

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hi joshua

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Knock, Knock ...

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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