Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

Wigan.

Chuck Norris.

Q. who's george porchy?

Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

H o m o comes out as homo

Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

My name is Jeff

How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Totsie Roll totsie pop? Altough many tests have been done, there still isn't a certain number. There are many variables involved with this question.

i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...