There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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Knock, Knock ...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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Jim came home from work. only to find out his family had been murdered

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Chuck Norris.

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Q. who's george porchy?

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Wigan.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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roses are red violets are blue i have to poop

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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