There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man say when he saw an orange? That's not a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"knock knock" "whos there?" there was no response from the other side but the knocking continued, the homeowner felt distressed so phoned the police...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats red and bad for your teeth? Bricks

thumb_up thumb_down -9

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Whose there? Person 1: Frank Person 2: Oh, hey man. Come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops