Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Your mama's so fat, she can't even find clothes that fit her well.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Bat-mobile? - "Robin, get in the Bat-mobile"

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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What's white and capable of flash photography? A pony, I lied about the photography.

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Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory? Because the economy is shitty and none of the higher ups are willing to take a pay cut and they’re still paying themselves massive bonuses, the result of which are layoffs across all departments.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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