How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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Q: What did the Black man say to the kool ade Man? A: You're not real -BonkersLive

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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LIFE INSERT COIN TO BEGIN!!! SELECT DIFFICULTY EASY

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A blonde woman is creating an account for a website when she gets the "enter the following" box. The box says"How are you". She looks down at the bottom seeing the answer and puts"Good!".

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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