Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

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Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

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Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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did you hear about the 2 car pile up by wal-mart? 50 mexicans dies

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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