Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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