What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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Yo mamas so fat when she was standing on a scale a girl walked by and said hey thats my phone number! Yo mamas so fat she broke the family tree!

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why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Me. You who? Me.

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why did the plumber start to cry? his family died

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

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Whats better than Anti-jokes? Mtiscape.com

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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