How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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My name is Jeff

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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What do you call a muffin with frosting? A cupcake

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Friend: What do you call a farting dog? Me: A canine releasing built up pressure as a result of excess carbon-based gases produced by the synthesizing and decompositional digestive reactions in the stomach and intestines. Friend: ... Who is a nerd, pointless, has no social life, and cant take a joke? Me: No one. No one but you is that exceptionally lacking in character.

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If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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knock knock. no one answered so the man at the door went home.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because his older brother was forcing him to pee on an electrical socket.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops